Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Eartha Kitt and Donald Trump

Shit is a funny word. "you little shit", "you big shit", "oh shit", "I'm in the shit", "your in the shit", "I've just had a shit", "I've just had a shit and your in it" and "a wagon load of shit" (who has a wagon of shit??)

Just a few examples of the word and its uses. Somehow it has more gravitas to say shit than poo, "your right in the shit mate" than "your in the poo". I've been in some deep shit in my life and I tell you, if I could have swapped it for being in the "poo" I would have done so in an instant.

Could you imagine the great Metropolitan Police telling some poor bloke he's in the poo after they have just manufactured some evidence against him? Not to suggest that that happens of course, I am sure the Guildford 4, the Birmingham 6 etc. were just simple over sites.

And of course, you get levels of shit. It has its own scale. "I may be in the shit" = mild or korma, "I am in the shit" = Basic level or madras, "I am knee deep in shit" = Bad or vindaloo and "I am up to my neck in shit here" = This is Phal and its Go time!.

What is shit scale called I wonder? I suspect it's a Turdometer but let me know what you reckon.

I was recently in the shit, not that momentous an occasion in the Goosehold I agree, but this one had spread to next door and in the three weeks since they haven't uttered a word to me. A touch unreasonable when all I did was wake up at 5am, my face stuck to my keyboard, empty beer cans strewn about and the music on full blast. mrsGoose forgave me as she tends too, eventually, sometimes or not.

Of course, over here we have all kinds of shit until you really need a shit, then we have an "Eartha Kitt" or a "Donald Trump", go figure.

And finally (hooray I hear :)

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station.

She tells the mechanic, "It died."

After working on the car for only a few minutes it runs nicely and idles smoothly.

The young lady asks, "What's the story?"

The mechanic replies, "Just shit in the carburetor.

"After a moments contemplation, the blonde asks, "How often do I have to do that?

7 Comments:

At 1:35 PM, Anonymous Naomi said...

heheheheheh!
turdometer.

I loved the joke too. I'm sure it is one of george's!

 
At 4:58 PM, Blogger theGoose said...

Geoge is most offendde ;)

 
At 1:11 AM, Blogger ninest123 Ninest said...

ninest123 12.08
tory burch outlet online, christian louboutin outlet, oakley sunglasses, michael kors outlet online sale, christian louboutin shoes, nike outlet, ugg australia, ugg outlet, ray ban sunglasses, tiffany and co, gucci handbags, louis vuitton, ray ban sunglasses, cheap oakley sunglasses, michael kors outlet online, red bottom shoes, burberry outlet online, cheap ugg boots outlet, louis vuitton outlet, oakley vault, nike air max, longchamp outlet, michael kors outlet store, ray ban outlet, prada handbags, replica watches, jordan shoes, louis vuitton outlet, polo ralph lauren outlet, christian louboutin, polo ralph lauren, cheap ugg boots, michael kors handbags, replica watches, prada outlet, tiffany jewelry, burberry outlet online, louis vuitton outlet online, oakley sunglasses, nike air max, michael kors outlet online, longchamp handbags, michael kors outlet, cheap oakley sunglasses, louis vuitton handbags, longchamp outlet online, ugg boots clearance

 
At 1:13 AM, Blogger ninest123 Ninest said...

true religion jeans, guess pas cher, nike air max, michael kors outlet online, burberry pas cher, coach purses, ralph lauren uk, louboutin, michael kors, nike trainers, scarpe hogan, coach outlet, nike free pas cher, nike free, mulberry uk, ray ban pas cher, tn pas cher, converse pas cher, new balance pas cher, michael kors canada, north face pas cher, nike roshe, michael kors uk, coach outlet store online, vans pas cher, timberland pas cher, air max, air max pas cher, hollister uk, nike air max, nike air force, hollister, nike blazer pas cher, hermes pas cher, lululemon outlet online, oakley pas cher, lacoste pas cher, true religion, true religion outlet, abercrombie and fitch, nike roshe run, true religion outlet, sac vanessa bruno, air jordan, longchamp, longchamp pas cher, nike air huarache, ralph lauren pas cher, north face, ray ban uk

 
At 1:16 AM, Blogger ninest123 Ninest said...

mcm handbags, lululemon outlet, wedding dresses, ferragamo shoes, s6 cases, vans outlet, timberland boots, soccer shoes, ralph lauren, celine handbags, p90x workout, ray ban, hollister clothing store, baseball bats, mont blanc pens, oakley, iphone 6 plus cases, jimmy choo shoes, babyliss, gucci, converse, abercrombie, iphone 6s cases, iphone cases, iphone 6 cases, reebok shoes, soccer jerseys, beats headphones, nike air max, instyler ionic styler, chi flat iron, giuseppe zanotti, iphone 5s cases, louboutin, valentino shoes, air max, ipad cases, nfl jerseys, birkin bag, vans, nike roshe, north face jackets, north face jackets, ghd, new balance outlet, bottega veneta, herve leger, iphone 6s plus cases, mac cosmetics, abercrombie and fitch, asics shoes, insanity workout

 
At 1:18 AM, Blogger ninest123 Ninest said...

moncler, toms outlet, canada goose, barbour, swarovski uk, canada goose, pandora jewelry, swarovski jewelry, karen millen, ugg soldes, ugg, canada goose, ugg boots, louis vuitton uk, louis vuitton canada, pandora charms, thomas sabo uk, sac louis vuitton, louis vuitton, doke gabbana outlet, converse shoes, juicy couture, moncler, coach outlet, canada goose outlet, moncler outlet, moncler, moncler, links of london uk, canada goose outlet, uggs canada, sac lancel, juicy couture outlet, marc jacobs handbags, replica watches, canada goose, moncler outlet, moncler, moncler, supra shoes, louis vuitton pas cher, pandora jewelry, pandora uk, montre femme, canada goose outlet, hollister canada, ugg, wedding dress, canada goose pas cher, barbour jackets
ninest123 12.08

 
At 11:37 PM, Blogger chenlina said...

chenlina20160418
coach factory outlet
louis vuitton outlet
toms outlet
celine outlet
designer handbags
michael kors purses
oakley sunglasses outlet
coach outlet
ray bans
air jordan 13
louis vuitton purses
ray ban sunglasses
michael kors handbags
coach outlet
christian louboutin outlet
oakley sunglasses
michael kors handbags
juicy couture
louis vuitton handbags
louis vuitton bags
coach outlet
replica rolex watches
christian louboutin shoes
jordan retro
oakley sunglasses
cheap jordan shoes
christian louboutin outlet
gucci outlet
louis vuitton outlet
christian louboutin shoes
coach factory
hollister uk
cartier watches
ray ban sunglasses
kd 8 shoes
michael kors uk
michael kors outlet clearance
ralph lauren uk
air jordan 8
gucci shoes
as

 

Post a Comment

<< Home